Yes, Oaks Is A Program, But We Are Also A Community And A Family

People who have experience with programs for formerly incarcerated men sometimes ask why our program is so different from men’s programs. The answer is because…well, women are different from men.  The reasons they wind up in prison, the way incarceration affects them and the challenges they face after release are different.

One example that separates us from men’s programs is the family-style community of residents, graduates and volunteers we have built at the Oaks.

Before we go on, we need to stress that incarceration is punishment and serving time in prison is challenging.  Women and men respond to those challenges differently.

Female Inmates in Cook County Jail, Illinois

Nearly a hundred years ago, Researchers studied women inmates and said they developed “pseudo-families,” meaning they formed small groups in prison that are similar to real families in society.  Yes, there are gangs in both male and female units, but women are much more likely to form family-types of communities. As one former inmate describes it,

Women inside prison create family units. They adopt prison “moms” and “sisters”. Nurturing is a natural part of being female. This need for nurturing doesn’t stop just because you are incarcerated.

That doesn’t really happen in men’s units, but it is common in women’s units.  In a Pennsylvania State University study in 2022, a survey of female inmates found half reported “prison family membership. Pseudo-mothers are perceived as maternal, supportive, and wise by their pseudo-children.”

One reason women for the difference between men and women is the way they react to the stress of prison life.  The advice men get is “do your time and keep your mouth shut.”  Women need more emotional support.  Laura E. Bedard, Ph.D. was the first female Deputy Secretary of the Florida Department of Corrections.  Here’s how she explains it,

Women tend to internalize stress, which may explain why female inmates engage in self-harming behavior...women have more frequent suicide attempts and use medical and mental health services at more than twice the rate of male inmates…Men tend to externalize stress, which in prison produces more physical aggression and combative behavior.

So, men gravitate to gangs. Women tend to internalize pain and fear, but at the same time, they are more maternal, making them more likely to comfort other inmates who are fearful. That all lends itself to a family-type support community.

We build on that sense of community when residents come to the Oaks. We want them to know that they are surrounded by other women who understand them, have walked in their shoes and will be their support system when they most need it.

Some of our women have never known a stable family life.  They may have been raised in broken homes. Sadly, many have experienced abuse at the hands of the family members who should have protected them.  As adults, they may even have damaged their own family relationships.  Despite any of that, our residents crave the stability of a family and the community of support they find at the Oaks.

And of course, no matter how any of us was raised or the lives we have led, we are all children of God, a part of the spiritual family that ties us together. As sisters in Christ, the community and security residents find at the Oaks helps them emerge from the darkness of their past lives into a world beyond anything they could imagine.